-Stuck-

Yah dah lama, mungkin ga akan pernah lama.
Apa sesuatu (the most akward word) yang ga pernah ada dan ga pernah hilang bisa di bilang "dah lama"
Tapi sesuatu (AGAIN!!!) yg bisa dirasakan, mungkin hanya dengan "hati", bisa dikatakan nyata dalam imajinasinya.
Apa pun itu sya merasa itu sudah lama dan mungkin ga akan pernah lebih dari "lama", always stuck in my heart!.

Cari-cari?

mencari-cari yang tak pasti.

mencari-cari yang berhati.

temanku sekarang, temanku yang lalu...

finally found a family,

let me down n let me up.

du no what i'm thinking about.

only things in mind.

foto pas pelantikan ARC 06, sbenernya dah lama sih :p

F.O.R

never known, how she could be the one walking by after me?

never blown, this feeling ever be. the one i should carry.

every tone. whisper always be the one that haunted me!

every noon, transmited me from every origin time ever be.

call me the unknown or let i be. shall all i know,i wanted to be...

with the white frequency of reality, simply inspire me.

Miss something missing?!

those days pass away, left memory couldn't erase.
this time (around 3.30 am) my eyes still stand in reality, i don't know why still wondering how is she doing right now, eventough i myself ruined ( can't tell).
yeah....those days da best days i ever had never once i regret it except the foolishness i made (the one always make me smile).
good night, or should i say good morning :D

the un-realized...!

something come in handy, but hard as rock to leave!

that's life in my philosophy.

we (i mentioned I) sometime won't do something to our life for make it more better, more peacefull, more light, more....n more (in such a good way).
but why can't we just jump off from the cliff n gone forever? it's because we affraid that the life we live not as good as what the "old man" dogmatic'iesm told us since the rise of the sun make warm your skin.....

VERKEDEL

Berhubung blog yang satu ini sudah saya isi dengan segala macam yang aneh2, jadi saya pindahkan Blog yang berisi tugas2 kaderisasi ARC ke sini
Semoga jadi lebih teratur :)

last week, march 11th i had the first ARC training, n it's about networking in ITB....


sorry i'm not in mood for blogging!

i always wonder why?

i used to think that i can dreaming about something i wanted, but hell yeah now i know dream pick the man not man decided what dream they want have.

Intruder?

I don't have any idea with the life i live in. it's so fake, so plastic....
i don't know again wheter my dreams still there, right in my side.
i just feel that only my shadow that walks beside me (green day)

My God, i believe in You but i don't walk in your path.
cos i saw everyone worship U but they did that in front of mirror.

believe it or not, i have been an intruder for almost 3 years but nobody realize it.
and until now i bored with all things.........

bye N say hello to the roses i pass it yesterday.

My Friend's....

Who...what?
who?
who am i?
i ask that to you.
what am i?
do i exist?
what for?
we exist because others acknowledge us.
and if not?
how...what?
do you acknowledge me?
if you dont?
how do i exist???
and if you do
what do i exist as?
a tool?
a puppet for your strings?
do you see me for who i am?
or do you see me for what i am?
for what i can do?
and talks and question and argument about existence....
useless, pointless, aimless, nonsense!
perhaps we all don't exist.


that poetry not mine, but belong to my friend (i can't write the name cos i even not ask for her permite), and for the picture also.
i hope she don't mind i publish her "artwork".

hell yeah, even i have friends.....????

An Arson

finally free my mind again. after being used by this cruel world i demand a freedom space where any values doesn't exist n i can even sink in the cloud of my own.

hey...makhluk lumpur
aku tak pernah seperti itu
aku hanya takut...
takut pada bayanganku
tak pernah tertangkap, tapi menghantui sampai jarum hulu.

what... he steal my story. i was thinking to doing that so you'll understand that i'm still here n unchangeable.

yap, aku terkadang heran
DIA merancang tubuh yang terbelenggu aspek psikologinya
sebuah sugesti untuk terus bertahan hidup di atas tanah
tapi tetap, pertanyaan yg tak pernah ada menuntut sebuah jawaban

i was force to being a human that think systematically, like a stupid machine
but in reality my mind is a mess as mandala airplane crash down on the soil of north sumatra

sampai jumpa lagi kawanku
semoga waktu belum terlalu angkuh
untuku berada di kapalku
arungi sekali lagi celah di lautan berpeluh

has been seen!

all my life i searching for some clues, but i dont have any idea what clues i'm searching for.
i am nobody eventhough she said someday people get some attention, but i guees it comes in my funeral!!!
its sick, i'm just a watcher. watch every match of the life, never get the life, to many ask, to many mute, to many stagnant....
til i find that im clueless man.

ReVerse

flat like a long way road....
that's my life. nothing realy personaly only watch my own life reapeating everyday.
but the most phatetic from all this shit is i realy feel safe walking on that road, but
"i" dont like it, i die to get it bend eventough just a second "word".
damn!!! it's so suck, maybe god have abandoned me or god not even exist???? n' we are just some coincidence in this coincidence universe?
but how about thought n felling that we have? we only can feel n think with our "body" , don't have any idea what people thinking of, just speculation...

North Aurora

North Aurora..., how's beauty flows onto your river
fill me in with your graceness, a long way to get down under again

North Aurora..., waiting for the wind brought me some illness

My bedsheet is an empty place i die in it. Nothing right or wrong, just illusion i dreamed about.

Incinerate!!!

just like the match you strike to incinerate every soul you've met, that's what you are in mind.
burn me every rhyme you sing n I die to get it again.
it's sound phatetic for me, she flew away with new hope, I'll die here in my bed with mind full of riddle!

Labyrinth!

u know what, when we get bored with all activities
we start too kill something to get rid of it a'ight!
n in that situation i've started to think that god made some labyrinth before us, n then we are sent into that labyrinth.
u know what it's mean our phats has been "pointed", eventhough we meet some obstacel in
it, but we will try find the right phats.
start mean being born, finish mean end...

but still we can't know how much finish line in that labyrinth!

Hareudang!!!

ga ada yg menyamai manusia...
sifat yg mendasar yg kadang dia sendiri berharap ga ada pada dirinya
ga bisa hidup sendiri, bergantung pada orang lain...
pendefinisian mandiri yang serba tanggung
gila dia nanya sesuatu yang dia sendiri tau! wot it's mean?
apa manusia "sebelum" kita tau kenapa dia ada?
apa dia pernah tanya kenapa cuma ada dua orang yang diturunkan (berdasrkan konsep adam hawa)
hey nothing is exist without some reason n maybe the reason why we were here comes with
different way...

I don't know what i 'm thinking of...

i must be angry right now, but i don't
you know what i just got my final score for subject i don't excpect to much
and i get the worse score which is big D for Dull....
damn!!! i curse everything souround me...
anjinglah...,tailah...,babilah..., n' so on
but i talk with someone today n he gave me new vision about life eventhough it doesn't have any connected with my fucking problem
his vision make me feel more calm n i start to have some fantasy again like i used to,but in positive way.
i realized that my life is so ruin n chaos, my talk is not logic n even worse...
damn god what i must do, i feel thousand knife stabed at me but in the same time i found that light.

wow it is to much serious for me...!

rEfRAin

semua tau ada sisi jahat disetiap kita...
tp lo smua ga tau klo sisi itu dah jadi fondasi kita bwat idup
if it not exist there's no balance so can create something called universal chaos...
don't you think this is just candy in baby hand!